I Guess You Never Will

you never fail to amaze me. you always make me feel like shit and then I just always take it. I always take your crap, your pathetic attitude, your clever ways, it just drives me nuts! to the point where i want to hate you and yet i still can't. I really want to hate you but, I am such a fucking moron. I always think that somehow, maybe, you'll see that I am right here in front of you. that maybe you can take a chance on me. But no! you don't see that. you don't see me. Here I am, always ready to stop what I am doing and run to you. Here I am always here for you, always waiting for you, always allowing you to treat me like a rag and there you are, all you do is make me feel like crap. all you do is make me hate myself because of you. You know what, there are so many guys out there in this world and i wonder why do i have to live with myself loving someone like you? why does it have to be you? I sincerely regret ever knowing you. I sincerely regret liking you, wasting my time on you, doing you favors and accepting all that you are and how you treat me. I hope someday you feel how it is to be me. I hope you grow up one day and realize how much your life is a mess and then regret the way you were treating me. I hope one day you wake up and see me for what I really am, not just your booty call but a woman with feelings. I am already hurting too much, and even I am surprised that I could take this much pain in my heart. I have been holding on for too long because I'm still hoping you'll change. But I guess you never will. I am tired, Ive been saying this even in my past blogs, I am so emotionally physically mentally tired of your games. I want to say that I am giving up, but I am afraid that I might eat my words one day. But I guess there is nothing I can do but try. I am gonna try to change not for you but for myself. I'm really hoping that you change too. But I guess you never will.